it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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