So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
