Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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