oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
