wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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