In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize