Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
