I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
