saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
