I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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