What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
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she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
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We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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