fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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