oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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