that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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