Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
