Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
