these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
