all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
