But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
