I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
