can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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