dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
