Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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