I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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