The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
