would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
