And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize