distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
