before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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