you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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