I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
my shit smells like andre
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
