wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Randomize
