her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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