No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
