My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
