I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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