when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
