we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
