Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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