....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
