My girlfriend figured out who you are.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
