Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
