they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
