Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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