if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
