how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
