I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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