I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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