you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
