what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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