I CAN MOONWALK!
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
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Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
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You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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