weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
