lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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