So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
