I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
