It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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