Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
