sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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