hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
