i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
