She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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