were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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