I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
