maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
