addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
